Saturday, July 21, 2012

My childhood stressor

As a child I grew in a rural area and there were very few African Americans in my community.  To be honest I was the only African American person my high school graduating school.  I encounter a lot racism and was to expose to intense levels of hatred throughout my childhood.  I didn't cope well to my surroundings.  I went through levels of self-loathing and depression because I felt there was something wrong with me and then as I got older I became a very angry person.  I would fight with my classmates and say mean and hurtful things.  My thinking was I was going to hurt them before they hurt me.  I didn't explain anything to my parents and I would internalize and then with one instance just explode.  It wasn't until I was an adult I realized exactly what was going on and how their hatred toward me wasn't my problem but they were the ones with the issue. 

When I explored racism in Europe I was shocked to know this is still an ongoing issue.  Here in America I don't hear much about racism across the globe.  In Europe there is segregation but is based on socioeconomic status.  This is understandable due to the fact in their history they had the feudal system.  This effects the children because the kids who are from the lower economy will feel lesser than those higher up.  It has to be frustrating being locked into a status because it is very hard to climb up and gain a higher socioeconomic status.  There are social groups fighting for equality but because people are used it to being a certain way things aren't changing fast enough.   

3 comments:

  1. It is really very unfortunate that this was your experience growing up in your area. It seems to me that a lot of hatred comes from parents who harbor that same hatred and a lot of it is based on not understanding or trying to understand someone who is different. Hate breeds hate and it is unfortunate that people choose to discriminate, for whatever host of reasons, instead of educating themselves about things or people they do not know. Just as kids pick up parents good values and behaviors, they pick up the bad ones as well. You are right, it has very little to do with you, and everything to do with them and what they were taught.
    -Alyson

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  2. Alyson I cannot imagine how it felt to be the only African American in your school. My hometown is the same way. I can remember there were maybe ten black kids from kindergarten through my senior year in any school I attended. My freshman year, there were two who were seniors. Then my Senior year, there was one who was a freshman. I had two families, one in elementary school, and one in junior high. That was it. I am sure they experienced much of the same stressful situations you encountered. When I was 22 I moved from northern Michigan to Arizona and received a complete culture shock. It was very eye opening. Now I live in Columbus, Ohio and am proud to say that the Head Start program I work for has a very diverse staff and student culture. I feel blessed to be able to learn and work with a variety of cultures to expand my knowledge of others. I hope that my children will be able to have a diverse experience as well and be open minded of others without judging them off their skin color.

    Melanie

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  3. Dawn, I could not imagine going through so much hate. I am aware that racism does exit, however I just try to deal with it by the grace of God. As parents and educators we must teach our kids better.

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